The Road Ahead

I would have to say that this is an uphill journey for me. I would wish that once I set my mind to my goals, they would just be accomplished in a matter-of-fact way. This is not the case. I need to pay constant attention to them. It's a bit like having a newborn--they simply require lots of time and cannot endure neglect. That said, I am pressing on, though less impressively than I would wish. I guess I have lost 2-3 pounds (my scale is erratic, but it is somewhere in there). I have been faithful in my walking, pretty good about my vitamins, decent about recording my food intake and the self care. I've gone on hikes and given myself a pedicure. But there is a feeling that it could all slip away if I am not vigilant. The tendency is definitely towards unhealth and inner chaos.

So, today I plan to rejuvinate my goals and the steps I am taking towards them by taking a little extra time to reorient. I'll set aside that space to take the extra few minutes to look at my checklist, to record my eating, to plan some meals, to take my vitamins, to make a plan for the day. Perhaps one of the lessons that is hardest for me to learn, but so necessary to this process, is to take the time that it needs.

Happy feet!

Last night, I gave my feet a good soak and treated them to an exfoliating mask and lotion at the end of a long day. We've had things in the evening the last four out of five nights--not really my speed! So, when we got home at 10:00 last night, I decided to treat myself to a movie and a foot soak. Good way to unwind and to celebrate a good day of getting things done and meeting my goals for the day.
So, I am five days into my health goals. I am always surprised by how much time it takes of my day. It makes me think that I usually spend rather little time on caring for my body and health. I know that not much truly changes in my body in 5 days, but I do begin to feel more fit and more attractive after a few days of proactivity. Then I start dressing with more care and taking a little more time and it begins a good cycle. I am never quite sure how to trigger the positive cycle, but I am thankful when I find myself in one!

Daily Self Care...

Well, so far towards this goal I have taken chipped nail polish off of my toes and remembered to wear body fragrance. Truthfully, this goal will take plenty of thought on my part. These are not the things that come naturally to me and I have the hardest time taking the time for the simplest things. Sometimes I just feel like I really need to get going on my work. Other times things just don't occur to me. I'm not sure what I'll do today--I should start a master list of sorts. Things I could do to help accomplish something here--pedicure, shave my legs, facial, haircut, an hour at the beach....Anyone have some other ideas? I'm thinking of things that generally don't take very long that I just don't seem to get to...

Goal setting

It seems manageable to make some personal goals that will bring me to the end of July, at which time I will reevaluate. All of them are meant in some way to take care of me. Here they are:
1. Walk 5-6X a week for 45 minutes to 1 hour each time.
2. Record my daily food intake.
3. Keep a daily journal.
4. Try a new "healthy" recipe once a week.
5. One small home improvement task daily.
6. Lose 10 pounds.
7. Grow something to eat.
8. Ride my bicycle once a week.
9. Finish sewing my tote bag.
10. Finish plying my spun yarn.
11. One special self care item daily.
I know, the list seems long, but I always feel like balancing the list with some things I really want time for (the sewing and crafting) helps me with the things that require a bit more discipline on my part.

Reflections and keeping on....

Two years ago I had a great run at improving my health. I blogged here 177 times and lost a great deal of weight. Since then, I continue to struggle off and on with my weight. I am currently 224 pounds. Not that the weight itself is the core of the issue, but it is a good indicator of how my self-care is progressing. I recently read "The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl" by Shauna Reid, though, and was very encouraged by her journey--her weight loss took her six years with lots of ups and downs in there. Still she kept getting back to it eventually. So, perhaps if I just keep at it? I do think that I need to develop some different ways of thinking about myself in order to succeed. There are many things that I think that I'll do when I lose weight that I'm beginning to think that I should do now. Here are some of my more recent attempts: making myself a skirt, making a sweater, having a pedicure. It hasn't always seemed like it was worth the work on these things in the past. I always thought, "What if I lose weight? Then the _________ won't fit anymore." Well, I guess I'd just have to make myself more things. Self care is the big word for me this year--it's something that I am not so good at, whether it is body care or taking care of my time or what have you. Anyway, I am sitting down today to make some goals for the next 6 weeks or so. I'll post them after they are a bit more firm. I am going to attempt to revive this blog, perhaps in a slightly different way than before. So, here's to keeping on!

Waving tentatively...

If you read this entry, then you are a sincere and hopeful friend after my long absence here! I have been wondering during this time the usefulness of continuing this blog. It had seemed like what had been a motivation to me to stay focused had become something I was dreading. As I don't need any help in the area of feeling obligated, I took a break to figure out if this blog is helpful to me. So, I am still not sure, but today I feel motivated to post. I'll just see where it goes from here.

Part of my motivation to post is perhaps that I have been trying to be cognizant of my eating, that I have regained weight over the last months, and as I stepped on the scale this morning (after three weeks being afraid to) I found that I have actually lost 8 pounds. Never in my life have I stepped on the scale and had such an unexpected loss. Not that I haven't been trying, but I haven't been weighing, so I didn't expect that anything was happening. I don't quite know what to make of it, but I am encouraged. This puts me at 220 instead of 228. Still more than I wish I were. But, encouraging nonetheless. I'd like to continue and I am journaling my eating again. I am not sure what I will put down here. I think I'll just feel that out.

I do wonder if it would be good for me to weigh less during this process--keep focused on behaviors and less on the scale. I don't know. I also wonder if I'll feel healthier if I drop another 20 pounds. I have been sick so much the last two months. I'd like to have more clarity and focus and losing weight seems to go hand in hand with that for me. They seem part of the same positive cycle.

Yesterday...

Ugh...I think I am getting sick, too. Mark and the kids have all been sick this weekend and now I feel like I may be coming down with it too. I think that I'd like to ignore it and have it go away, but I don't think that's happening. Well, yesterday's eating...

Breakfast: 2 whole wheat pancakes
Snack: 2 mandarine oranges
Lunch: 1 1/2 c. curried vegetable bisque, 14 tortilla chips
Snack: 2 c. caramel corn, 7 slices dried mango
Dinner: 1 c. pasta with sauce, 1 sausage, 1 c. fresh broccoli and carrots, dip
Snack: 1/3 c. ice cream

Today's reason to lose weight: I want to sew some new shirts for myself for spring!